Dear Dunkin Donuts,
Kali here. One of your most loyal customers since I was a young buck. I've been wanting to write a letter to you for quite some time now. Ever since I discovered the sprinkle shortage.
But let me start from the beginning. My whole life, I've only liked Dunkin Donuts. I scoffed at Krispy Kreme or any local bakery. If it wasn't a chocolate sprinkled doughnut from Dunkin, I wasn't having it.
The gooey chocolate icing, mixed with those rainbow sprinkles that filled every bite... just delicious. I was hooked. Your doughnuts became the staple of the start to ever road trip with my family. Two of these babies and a little carton of milk - I was set.
Then one day, we went to your store, ordered my usual, and this is what I received...
This picture doesn't even show the extent of the issue. The doughnut I received wasn't half sprinkled. It was.... ONE FOURTH SPRINKLED. The shock and disappointment was too much for my young self. Who doesn't sprinkle the whole doughnut??? I cried to my Dad asking why there was a sprinkle shortage in America and what we could do to help.
As months went by my sadness turned to anger. And I began to boycott your establisment. "I won't go back there while they are accepting this sprinkle shortage. I just won't!"
Eventually, your sprinkles did in fact make it all the way back around the doughnut. And peace and happiness was restored. And things went on happily for many years.
But we know that never lasts.
I recently went in to your local store on my way to work to satify my sprinkle fix, only to find THIS in the "sprinkled" tray.
You thought you could fool me, didn't you? Wrong again, my friends.
I know that is just a vanilla sprinkled doughnut POSING as a chocolate sprinkled doughnut. You thought you could just jam-pack it with sprinkles and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
Well, Dunkin, you underestimate me yet again.
So not only have you quarter-sprinkled me in past years, but now you have robbed me and the rest of the world of your most famous doughnut altogether.
We are officially back on bad terms. My boycott shall commence again until you return the chocolatey-sprinkled goodness to your shelves!
Thanks for visiting Kaliwood! Want to extend your stay?